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  • Writer's pictureThespicer

Famed "Bright Slap" Inventor Retiring From Slapping

Space - Captain Bright Noa of the Earth Forces Londo Bell division, and famed inventor of the patented "Bright Slap", has admitted that he's too tired to properly slap the man into whiny young pilots.

"I just don't know any more you know? Like the passion and red hot fury aren't there anymore. Probably explains why Hathaway is such a sad excuse for a son. I miss Amuro and Kamille, they knew how to take a good slap. My man hand was strong back then, ready and able to make a man out of them. It was pretty much like Mulan but only that one song. We got down to business. Hell it wouldn't surprise me if Hathway joined some crazy terrorist group in an act of teenage rebellion. I should've slapped him more."

When asked for a comment, the time traveling space ghost Amuro Ray said 'That is really sad, I own a lot to those slaps. Bright's hand single handedly saved our bacon many times. Had his magic hands not woke me up I wouldn't be this sick ethereal form."

We reached out to Kamille Biden of the AEUG's Argama crew who served under Noa but he didn't have much to say. "I mean come on, Kamille is a perfectly unisex name. I meet a new Kamille every time I look in the mirror. Mr Bright did beat me up a little, maybe that's why I have these name related issues. Definatly not any other reason. "

Mirai Noa, Bright's wife and helms woman of the famous SVC-70 White Base, really didn't think much of it, simply stating that "He knows better than to try that with me, he learned everything he knows from me."

At publishing Bright was training to get back into slapping shape. Who knows, maybe he'll slap into the future and slap Char's supposed grand child.

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